The Recipe for Self-Coaching (and my favorite drink)

Simple recipes are sometimes the best. Take, for instance, a Manhattan. Combine two ingredients, whiskey (bourbon for me) and vermouth, and you get one incredibly delicious result (and one of my favorite ways to end the day).


Self-coaching begins with two simple ingredients as well; two truths that must be accepted in order for coaching to be possible.

Truth #1: Improvement is possible.

You can change your brain, will, and even your personality by addressing habits – both habitual actions and patterns of thinking. For decades, neurologists have known not only that the brain can (and does) change itself, but that you and I can become active participants in the process. Check out this video on neuroplasticity to get a brief summary on how this works. 

Accepting this truth means that you and I let go of these beliefs:

“I am the way I am; I can’t change.”

“I’ve had this habit for so long; I can’t drop it now.”

“Once a __________, always a ______________.” 

Truth #2: It’s up to you.

Each of us has the privilege and responsibility to engage in this process every day. No one can do it for us. No circumstances in life will ever make it impossible. The only person that can hold you back is you. The only person that can move you forward is you. 

Accepting this truth means that we reject these excuses:

“You make me feel so ____________.”

“That person is holding me back.”

“My circumstances are holding me back.”

BOOM! That’s it. Two ingredients for ongoing personal improvement. Weight loss, eating more veggies, cutting out junk food, not snoozing the alarm, exercising regularly, shutting off Netflix and getting to bed on time, saving money by not making unnecessary purchases on Amazon every single day (GAH! It’s so easy… right?), procrastination, better communication, ANY habits you want to change are now flexible when you have these two ingredients in place.


Like a Manhattan, many of the good things in life are made by just combining a couple of ingredients. Now you have what you need to begin one of the greatest quests in life: becoming even better.

I’m curious to know what comes up for you as you think about those two ingredients for self-coaching. Can you think of any others? 

Are you feeling empowered? Or frustrated? Do you feel like moving forward? Or giving up? 

And maybe the biggest question of all: If someone doesn’t believe that one or both of these is true, how can you and I help them to begin to change?

Post a comment or send me a message to let me know what you think.

Let’s talk soon.


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